


She's Gone, Gone, Gone

by SummerStormFlower



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Car Accidents, Childhood Friends, Death, Drunk Driving, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Kairi is a good sister, M/M, Ventus and Sora are caring brothers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:08:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22026085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SummerStormFlower/pseuds/SummerStormFlower
Summary: Roxas, Axel and Xion are high school students in a car accident. This is the aftermath.
Relationships: Axel & Roxas & Xion (Kingdom Hearts), Axel/Roxas (Kingdom Hearts), Roxas & Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Roxas & Ventus (Kingdom Hearts), Sora & Ventus (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	She's Gone, Gone, Gone

Roxas was under his blankets, but he was cold. He was exhausted, body and mind, but he couldn’t fall asleep. The room was dark, but whenever he closed his eyes, he saw headlights and they were painfully bright. Not only that, but every time he thought of it, his right leg hurt. Excruciatingly. 

He wished he could remember how it got hurt. Or maybe it was better if he didn’t.

Most of it was hazy, except for the hospital part. In his dreams though, he saw Xion’s body flying past him and heard Axel’s ear-piercing scream. And then he remembered his leg burning.

It was probably better if he didn’t remember all of it.

Suddenly, there was a soft knock on the door.

“Go away,” Roxas said. He really didn’t want to be around people right now.

“Rox, it’s Ven.”

Roxas knew that. Ventus always knocked before entering someone else’s bedroom, whereas Sora just barged in when he felt like it.

“Go away,” Roxas repeated.

“Can I come in?”

Roxas rolled his eyes. “No.”

Ventus opened the door and came in anyway. “Hey, squirt.”

Roxas sighed, “I said no.”

“I’m your favourite brother. You can’t say no to me.” The mattress dipped as Ventus sat on Roxas’ bed. He placed a hand on Roxas’ ankle, poking out from under the blankets, only for Roxas to pull away with a flinch. That hurt.

Ventus put his hand on his back instead. “How you feeling?”

His leg was on fire. “Fine.”

“I heard you got into a fight with Axel.”

Guilt immediately flared up in Roxas’ chest, remembering all the nasty things he’d said to his boyfriend. “Look, I know you’re just trying to help,” he started, his voice wobbling as tears welled up in his eyes, “but I don’t want to talk.”

“I never said we had to talk,” Ventus replied gently.

“Good. Then will you—“

“No, I won’t go away. You shouldn’t be alone right now.”

Roxas sighed shakily and closed his eyes, his heart constricting painfully when he saw the headlights again. Ventus rubbed his hand up and down his back. It felt nice. He didn’t deserve it, but he couldn’t find it in him to push Ventus away.

“Xion used to...” Roxas swallowed around the lump in his throat, “Xion used to comfort me after I fought with Axel.”

Ventus looked at the picture of his brother and his friends that was on Roxas’ dresser. Ventus’ own heart ached. Xion has been a good kid. 

“I know,” he said.

Roxas blinked rapidly, the pain in his leg intensifying. “She always got us to make up too.”

“I know.”

“And then she’d get mad at us for dragging her into our fights.”

“I know.”

Suddenly, Roxas’ cheeks were wet. Sobs welled up inside his chest and lodged themselves in his throat, and he swore his soul was crying too. He sat up and looked at Ventus. Ventus didn’t say anything and just opened up his arms. Roxas fell into his hug, letting the sobs wrack his body.

“I yelled at Axel. I-I said it was his fault.”

Ventus held him tight. “You didn’t mean it.”

“Then why-why did I say it?”

“Because people say things they don’t mean when they’re hurting.”

“That’s no excuse.” Roxas sniffled. “Axel would’ve n-never got in-in the c-car if he knew—Xion—!”

“I know.”

Roxas squeezed Ventus’ shirt in his fist. “I made him cry.”

Ventus ran his fingers through Roxas’ hair. “What are you gonna do?”

Roxas wiped his eyes, sighing, and slumping against his brother exhaustedly. “I should apologize.”

Ventus nodded.

“But... he probably doesn’t want to see me.” Saying it out loud was like puncturing a tiny hole in his heart.

Ventus shrugged. “You’ll never know until you try.”

Roxas thought for a moment. He did have a point.

“Come on,” Ventus said, “I’ll drive you.”

____________________________________________________________________

It was when they were parked in front of Axel’s house, that Roxas got cold feet.

“I texted Kairi before we left,” Sora said from the backseat, “so she knows you’re here.”

Roxas sighed, dragging his hand down his face. Maybe he should’ve waited until morning to do this. Although, he’s pretty sure the pounding in his skull would’ve still been there.

“Is she mad at me?” he asked.

“Well...”

Ventus glared at Sora in the rear view mirror. Sora ignored him.

“She was at first, but I don’t think she is anymore.”

Roxas fiddled with the door handle. Ventus didn’t say a word—didn’t even look at him, which Roxas appreciated greatly. It was quiet.

Until Sora ruined it.

“What are you waiting for?”

“Don’t rush him, Sora,” Ventus scolded.

Roxas sighed, laying his head back against the seat. “Guys, I can’t do this,” he said, “Knowing me, I’ll probably just get angry and say something even worse than before, and he’ll hate me forever. I just lost my best friend. I can’t lose my boyfriend too.” Tears pricked hotly at the corners of his eyes.

“Roxas, that won’t happen,” Ventus said, turning to look at him now.

Sora leaned forward and put a hand on Roxas’ shoulder. “You love Axel. And Axel loves you. You guys will get through this.”

“How?” Roxas demanded, rubbing furiously at his eyes before the tears could fall. “How can we—when Xion...”

Sora squeezed his shoulder gently.

“I know this sucks,” Ventus said softly, “But that’s all the more reason for you and Axel to band together. Not fall apart.”

Roxas was quiet for a long time. Then he took a deep breath and opened the car door, looking at his brothers one last time.

“Thanks, guys.”

“Hey, we’re there for you!” Sora said with a smile.

Roxas felt his heart swell with love. He didn’t always like his brothers, but he did love them. Even when they were idiots.

He closed the car door. 

Ventus and Sora watched him walk slowly up to Axel’s house.

“... You think they’ll have make up sex?”

“Shut up, Sora.”  
____________________________________________________________________

After Roxas knocked, Kairi answered the door.

“Hey Roxas,” she said with a small smile.

“Hey,” Roxas said back, feeling awkward.

Kairi stepped aside. “Come in.”

Roxas did, trying not to put too much pressure on his right leg.

“Axel’s in his room,” Kairi told him.

“Thanks.” Roxas tucked his trembling hands in his pockets, turning to look at his boyfriend’s sister. “Um... look, I’m—“

Kairi smiled at him. “I know. It’s okay.”

Roxas sighed in relief. He hadn’t thought Kairi’s forgiveness would make him feel so much better.

“Now go talk to him. He needs you.”

Roxas nodded. Then looked at the staircase. Then looked down at his leg. The doctor had said he’d probably have a limp forever and would need a cane in his twenties.

“Oh,” Kairi said, realization dawning on her, “Let me help you up the stairs.”

“Thank you.”  
____________________________________________________________________

Roxas gulped, then knocked on Axel’s bedroom door.

First there was silence. Then,

“Who is it?” 

Roxas bit his lip. “Axel, it’s me.” He waited.

“...Roxas?”

“Yeah.”

“Come on in.”

When Roxas went in, he found Axel sitting at his desk, looking through the window at the moon in the night sky. His left arm was in a cast.

“Hey,” Roxas greeted shakily.

“Hey,” Axel mumbled without looking at him.

Roxas bit his lip again. “Can I sit?”

Axel nodded.

Roxas sat down on Axel’s bed. He looked at the rocking chair beside Axel’s pile of laundry on the floor. Xion used to sit in it and rock back and forth for hours. Roxas teased her about it once. She’d grinned and said that her ‘inner grandma liked it’.

Roxas pried his gaze off the rocking chair.

“We need to talk.”

Axel laughed dryly. “What’s there to say?” he asked, “I killed her.”

The pain in Axel’s voice slammed into Roxas’ heart. He shook his head. “No, baby, no. No, you didn’t. I’m sorry I said it was your fault. I didn’t mean it.”

“But it’s true,” Axel said wobbly, and Roxas realized he was crying. He stood up, wiping his face, and pacing the room. “I killed her.”

Roxas stood up too, shaking his head again and again. “No, you didn’t.”

“Yes, I did.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Yes! I was drunk and I knew I shouldn’t drive, but I did anyway!”

Roxas bit his lip, his heart shattering with each tear that fell down Axel’s face.

Axel sniffed, dragging his right hand through his red hair. “It’s my fault.”

Roxas shook his head. “It isn’t.”

“It’s all my fault.”

“It isn’t.”

“She-she didn’t deserve... It should’ve been me. She’s gone and it’s my fault.”

“It’s not your fault!” Roxas shouted, face suddenly wet, “It’s mine!”

Axel stopped pacing and looked at him with wide eyes.

Roxas sobbed, the feelings he’d been keeping bottled up pouring out of him. “It’s my fault! I’m-I’m the one who gave you the keys. It should’ve been me! Not her, or you!”

Axel stared at him.

Roxas didn’t bother fighting the tears. He couldn’t fight them anymore. The ones he’d shed in Ventus’ arms were only the beginning. He had thousands, maybe millions, of tears to shed for Xion.

Slowly, Axel approached him, wrapping his good arm around Roxas’ shoulders and pulling him into his chest.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

Roxas looked up at him. “It wasn’t yours either.”

Axel was quiet for a moment. Then he nodded.

They stood there, just holding each other for a long time.

Then Axel asked, “What are we supposed to do?”

“Now that we aren’t blaming ourselves or each other?” Roxas asked.

Axel chuckled quietly. “Yeah. What do we do after that?”

Roxas inhaled shakily, then squeezed his arms around Axel tighter. “We mourn. Together this time.”

Axel squeezed him back. “Okay,” he said, “that sounds better than doing it alone.”

**Author's Note:**

> . . . Was that ending okay? . . . Hmm. I’m happy with everything else, except that ending. And when I say happy, I mean almost cried three times writing this, so hopefully it’s powerful.  
> Thanks to those who read, leave kudos, and comment! I’d love to hear readers’ thoughts.


End file.
